One of my best memories of this summer in hell/Phoenix was the night I saw the guy with that T-shirt on. My friends and I were sitting at one of my favorite watering holes in town, TT Roadhouse (best ska, punk, lounge jukebox this side of the Mississippi). At the bar sat a large rotund man stuffed into a light blue T-shirt. I noticed him right away because of his girth and his rowdy conversation. Next thing I knew, some dizzy woman took off her top in exchange for his top. A very long time passed while she sat topless at the bar fooling around with his T-shirt to "put it on". Meanwhile, he struggled with her little itty bitty tank top. Putting it over his head and around his shoulders, he completely stretched it out and gleefully turned a 360 for the whole bar to admire his chest. Nice rack; not my type.

She, at the other side of the bar, laughing at all of the attention for SLOWLY putting on his shirt, turned our way just in time for us to read "Club Chubby". I wanted his autograph. I admire a wily sense of humor.

Last week while I was driving east on Camelback road I noticed the moon behind clouds laying low in the night sky. First of all, I hadn't noticed that the moon wasn't out yet, so I was a bit surprised, like, "oh, there you are!" Then I watched as the clouds played with my visibility, warping around the moon like smudges of paint on a light bulb. I hadn't noticed there were clouds in the sky either. So I played peek-a-boo with the moon through the trees. When the clouds left the moon alone, I realized how big it was in the sky. It looked like the sun setting without the sunset and sunlight, just a huge yellow sphere in the sky. Then it went behind the clouds again. I had my own American Beauty moment.

It is so fucking hot here, I can't fucking stand it.

Another thing about the sky, the only redeemable thing about Phoenix right now, is that while the dew point, humidity and all that other stuff goes into making our yucky weather, it also makes for a kick ass skyline. Every night the sunsets are amazing because of the vast skyline, the sun doing it's thing and the fact that there are more clouds than usual in the sky. All different kinds of clouds. The other night, one cloud swept across the whole eastern sky during sunset looking like really long pink hair swirling submurged under blue water. Phoenix sucks right now, but the sunsets are coming from both directions so while I feel like I am getting it from both ends, I can at least be thankful that it's coming from alternative sources.

8.2.2001

Octavio Paz speaks of love, life and surrender. He died three years ago of bone cancer. His reputation is of a man that kinda betrayed his country by criticizing Mexico. He wrote political books, opinion articles, but his poetry transcends all that bullshit. I try to read it outloud in Spanish to better comprehend and practice my language skills. And then I cheat and read it in English.

Robin's top 20 videos of all time chosen for content, music, message and visual appeal.
1) Jeremy - Pearl Jam
2) Waterfalls - TLC
3) Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
4) Express Yourself - Madonna
5) When It's Over - Sugar Ray
6) The Unforgiven - Metallica
7) Don't Speak - No Doubt
8) Got 'Till It's Gone - Janet Jackson
9) That's The Way Love Goes - Janet Jackson
10) Alive - Pearl Jam
11) Nothing Compares To You - Sinead O'Connor
12) Today - Smashing Pumpkins
13) Closer - Nine Inch Nails
14) What's My Name - Snoop Doggy Dogg
15) Whip It - Devo
16) Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
17) Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (cake!)
18) Forever Young - Rod Stewart (that little boy with the curly red hair!)
19) You Got Lucky - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
20) and the all time best video EVER, Legs - ZZTop

7.30.2001

Last night a monsoon storm brought thunder and lightening and lots of moisture to the desert. It cooled off so much that I got up early and went for a long walk this morning. Near my apartment lies a pathway lined with eucalyptus trees and after last nights rain the perfume in the air from the trees wafted over me as I stumbled along. The temperature remained cool all morning. Nowhere seems more stagnant than Phoenix in August.

I encouraged my cousin Stefanie through the birth of her son two weeks ago tonight. Jackson John Wiseman surfaced bluish and longish. What an experience! I have seen childbirth from both sides now. Only afterward, as the family and friends came in gushing and crying, did I realize what a precarious situation I was in. So I left. Sometimes you want to be there for your loved ones, but you just can't.

7.16.2001

I think it would be fun to write a travel novel. I could go to Africa and live like Hemingway and drink, fall in love with the natives and write amazing prose which I would recite to my lover at night by the glow of our camp fire. The great oudoors and all of the adventure, what a gas. I would love to sit and drink tea and wonder about the rest of the world - the civilized world. I could write stunted telegrams to all of my friends telling them I was still alive and they could read all about it in my next novel or National Geographic article.

7.14.2001

The five colours blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavours cloy the palate.
Racing and hunting madden the mind.
Rare goods tempt men to do wrong.
Therefore, the Sage takes care of the belly, not the eye.
He prefers what is within to what is without.

Tao Teh Ching
- Lao Tzu

It's hot. July is a month to behold, if you are the devil.

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