According to my calendar, today is the last, official day of Muscle Project. After having gathered all my paperwork, notes, charts, diagrams and cheese sandwiches from the past 12 weeks, I've managed to develop a prognosis for the next 25 years of Colin's health. The study went down as follows:Weeks 1, 2, 3 & 4: Subject shows promise. He makes a true effort towards his goal and shows no sign of weakness. His diet and consumption habits are growing in perfect unison with his weight training.
Week 5: Subject breaks down in an emotional explosion. Crying and proclaiming his washboard stomach is no more and that being pale will never help him in the long run.
Week 6: Subject establishes new goal, admitting that gaining 30 lbs. in twelve weeks is futile.
It's all downhill from then on. Doctor's prognosis -- Colin's going to be fat, very very very fat. He eats like a champ, he never gave up on that aspect of the project. He just doesn't use all that energy in a productive manner. Rather, he saves it in the form of a CHUBBY BELLY.
Subject's Note: Hey folks, this is Colin, a completely separate entity from the doctor who spoke above. Now, I've tried a lot of things in my life, and I've slacked and given up on a lot more than that. This project was an eye opener. I realized how hard it is to gain good, healthy weight in the form of muscle. I also realized how easy it is to get a chubby belly. So if you're a lazy sloth like myself, and you also want to gain weight, don't waste your time with the weight training, you'll use up all that energy and you'll never get a chubby belly. In retrospect, I'd say this project is one of the greatest foes I've ever had, and by far the one that kicked my ass the most. Hmmm, I think I'm going to work out today, just to see what happens, maybe I can get rid of this chubby belly and give it to someone who wants it.
Thanks for reading, don't tell anyone how much of a schumtz I am. If this is your first time viewing Muscle Project, just turn around and walk away slowly -- or go to my main page. Happy eating and happy chubby bellies!!!
