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Monday, September 17, 2001
I GOT DA RAGE! READ ME! Ooooh, I despise Ann Coulter. She's all for war. That's ok, excepting the Fire-and-Sword-and-Bible shit (she sounds almost like a terrorist herself, fortunately she's all wind, the stupid bitch). She's sad because her friend Barbara Olsen died (although she makes it sound like Olsen was the Only Person Ever to make a cell phone call from the hijacked planes, plenty of people did and one man even called his wife before going to attack the hijackers himself). That's ok, I'm sure she really does miss a friend. But does she really have to scream about HILLARY CLINTON! OK, thousands of people died and you're bitching about how Hillary Clinton didn't really talk politics with Bill over her morning grapefruit. Ooooh, how awful! I bet that's why terrorists attack our country! I can just imagine them, at home in the desert (or Florida, whatever), anger burning in their foul hearts, BECAUSE AMERICA'S FIRST LADY DIDN'T REALLY EAT GRAPEFRUIT WITH HER HUSBAND! THEY HAVE TO DESTROY, DESTROY THE GREAT SATAN! Listen, lady. Did Hillary fuck your husband? Do you have some sort of secret guilty crush on Bill Clinton that forces you to lash out this way? It's like if I said, Well, I'm really upset about those bombings, and it's Laura Bush's fault because, I don't know, she has visible panty lines or something. It's not the depths of evil, but it's pretty much the depths of stupid. I also love the way our dear Ann hurls insults at airport workers, basically calling them retarded. Listen, asshole, I'm glad that you're blaming someone who can do something - evidently those "lumpen, hostile [what, are they supposed to be fucking friendly to terrorists? Make up your mind, Ann] mesomorphs" are able to reshape the law on the ground. The hijackers did their work with box cutters and knives - perfectly legal items up until now. Maybe we should have the bureaucrats of the FAA manning each x-ray station! That would stop terrorism FOR SURE! But wait! Ann doesn't want tighter security! That's right, she'd die before restricting the rights of good red-blooded Americans to bring big honking knives on planes! Good Americans shouldn't have to wait in line for security checks! As the Dead Kennedys said, Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death! What's the solution? STOP MUSLIMS FROM GETTING ON PLANES! That's right, those crazy ragheads shouldn't be allowed to fly like us normal white folk (and our non-terrorist little brown brothers). How they're supposed to tell who a Muslim is, I suppose, is determined by looks alone. Sorry, Sikhs, Indians, Arab Christians, you're out too. I hope you enjoy the Greyhound - that is, if they let you on. (By the way, there are Muslims out there that look more "white" than I do - Islam extends into Europe (remember Bosnia?). I know a guy from Bosnia who would be more likely to get onto a plane under Coulter's rules than I would be. Blue eyes, blond hair. I've seen other Bosnian Muslims who looked like Joe Frat-Boy, or that exemplar "lumberman from Ohio". Evidently, if Muslims are all going to be shut away, "white" people will have to go too. Sorry, Ann, your loss.) In any case, Ann Coulter really outdid herself on this one (and believe me, every time I read her damn column I want to write a rant about this long). But this time, I decided to let it all out. Congratulations, Ann, you just won the award for Extraordinary Pettiness in Times of Tragedy. Beating out the Falwell/Robertson team is an accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself. Sunday, September 16, 2001
Wednesday, September 12, 2001
Quick and inane thoughts: I'm with Katie here. Perhaps ignorance is the best revenge. We can't ignore death, but the purpose of a terrorist attack is (duh) to cause terror. We can be in shock, but the best thing to do is to rebuild, the Pentagon because of course they need to, and the World Trade Center because, hell, why not? Put it back up, I say. Can we fight the enemy now? No, in all possiblity no. But we can do something productive, to show that we can still pull together. There's very little we can do to prevent these attacks short of being a lock-down society. From my (very limited) experience, personal freedoms - what makes our lives so special as Americans, as members of what used to be called the First World - would have to be sacrificed totally to stop these attacks. Would we really want to do that? Would it stop any of this violence? We probably couldn't even live like Israelis, who (at least the Jewish ones) have a good amount of freedom of movement and who live their daily lives in more or less the same mode as we do. Their security is much, much tighter, but that still doesn't stop the violence in their country - what will increased security do for us? What do we need next? Internal spies? Passport cards? Don't tell me everything has changed forever, because we can't tell what's going to happen yet. Our sense of security may be shattered, but I believe in the resilency of my countrymen and women (not like this is always the best thing, I can't wait for the miniseries where terrorists attack the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, but SECRETLY TWO BRAVE GULF WAR VETERAN CRACK PILOTS WERE HIDING IN THE SECRET PENTAGON BASEMENT AND NOW THEY MUST HAVE REVENGE!!!! Actually, I'll know the country is psychically healthy, or psychically healthily unhealthy, when that miniseries comes out). The only thing I can think of as a certainty is better airport security, but anyone who's been to an airport lately knows that security is comparatively lax anyway (all you would need to pass, really, is a fake ID and plastic weaponry - or in this case, knives!) One more thing, stop calling these terrorist events evil. Evil is a totally debased term. It sounds like Dr. Evil pulled this shit off, and then George Bush will go and fight him in his mountain hideaway, etc etc, and throw him INTO THE PITS OF HELL! And evil Dungeons and Dragons creatures will skullfuck him (Dr. Evil)! I don't know. Incomprehensible might be a better word. Word evil, I hereby banish you from the English language. Well, after tragedy, many things still go on. Like my roommate fucking like a crazy rabbit. Mmmm, the power of fucking prevails. Saturday, September 08, 2001
Guess who's back in the muthafuckin house (to quote eazy e). lord i hate blogging, it's SOOOOO HARD! Guess who? It was me, jason you muthafucker. And I STILL BELIEVE! (jessica is still getting back into her blogging groove) Friday, September 07, 2001
here is my new post for katherine. it's a poem, i did not write it. captain captain here we are Captain! Friday, March 30, 2001
thank you jason. you are a wonder boy...wonder man? you can be batman. oh, btw, the whole ex-girlfriend kissenger thing was just cause i thought jason would know shit about kissenger. Who thought that kissenger was hot? i'm sorry, power is not the ultimate aphrodsiac. at least in kissenger's case. Monday, March 26, 2001
Listen up, if you work for a company whose main product is Magic: The Gathering, you have no business insulting Pokemon cards. How come there are no Wonder Girls? |
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