Friday, June 15, 2001
95 degrees was a great water temperature for our pool last year, but...i'll tell you this....for the last couple of hot humid days, 74 degrees IS A GREAT WATER TEMPERATURE for our pool. bye bye bath water [my children are happy that i have toughened up a bit...]. okay, talked myself into it...taking a cooooool dive right now.
Thursday, June 14, 2001
gee, its no wonder if i get arrested for domain neglect!!! way too long since my last entry, and i know "busy" shouldn't be a factor [she rolls her eyes around]. anyway....here is something REALLY important for everybody [especially me....] it just dawned on me that the flip messages shown on my page has one that just hit me.....Marry a person you love to talk to. As you get older, conversational skills will be even more important.....Well, may the Lord have mercy on my soul because this is the utmost prime major exact absoulte ultimate complete total inclusive entire full all-encompassing comprehensive impairment in our marriage. He places himself so far above me, he talks down to me constantly, and to the children as well.....[actually, if you have the time, just go toward the beginning of my entries, i am sure i've said it all already] so much of this shit. I am jumping in the pool.
Tuesday, May 29, 2001
wow. so much has happened since last entry. Had a lump removed from my abdomen, needed internal and external sutures, doc claims to have gotten it all out. we'll see i guess. sore but not unbearable, just a pain in the abb's [lol]. my instructor, the one that confuses and terrifies, well............i don't know just how to take her. i believe she is truly trying to help me, but maybe she is just trying to cover her own ass. Think that if the 'board of ed' got wind of what went down last semester she would be in a world of shit. So, like "the return of the lump", we'll see i guess. at this point, she is a suspicious one, but not anthing i can't handle, have a lot of support from my peers in the program......
The sun is shining and a cool wind is blowing. nice day to walk the dog. no joking arouund, and you got to agree, it is more fun than walking alone. And sometimes, the dog is walking me!!!!!!!! ya see....my daughter and her boyfriend has this absolutely awesome shepard, Noah. He has more brains that most men I have and do know in my life. And really playful too, reminds me so much of my Toby. My dog was a mix of siberian & malamute husky,collie and wolf. No kidding. I recall when she was a pup and i was in public, people freaked out seeing her, those glass eyes and no mistaken she had wolf in her, just about everybody backed off. God i miss her. Died around 17 people years old, just didn't wake up one day. My idiot first husband got a frigen red doby [doberman pisser] when she was about 10 years old, think he was jelous of how much Toby loved me. anyway..........long fucked-up story he was. Outta that mess.
Back to reality......life is great, house is messy, case studies nearly done, i feel just fucking good. Think i will go have a piece of that mayonaise cake my mom made me yesterday. Tell you what...i am a damm good judge of cakes, and my daughters boyfriends mom, Donna, makes the best assortment of the most terrific cakes i have ever eaten and my mom makes a terrific chocolate mayonaise one. The best thing is that i am going to eat some right NOW!!!!
Friday, May 18, 2001
hello sweet addiemae...you already read this...love you much
yesterday was a, well, confusing situation. it appeared to be beneficial to me, i attempted to discuss the circumstances with my instructor that occurred over the semester, she didn't have time to go there......this really puts me to question.....if that is true then how can it be she stays after classes for long periods of time and chitchats with a few select individuals. she has known for sometime time i would have like to meet with her, as my advisor, to discuss a paper she asked me to do [which others didn't do] i just don't comprehend the kind of treatment i received from her this last semester, the previous one was fine. what the hell happened. i mean, i have some idea, certain select individuals speaking false information....but even i, myself, wish the emotional poisioners would go away, basically just stop. my daughter [yes, you addiemae] tells me, who the hell cares what they say....she just isn't there subject to the ramifications of their mean actions. actually, she suggested to take the power away from all the bullshit that is thrown at me, turn away from the people hurting me, and like, just don't even respond to them when they are like that. i sorta feel that will make me look kind of odd, like a freak of some sort, but hell, suppose it beats getting hurt.
back to the subject...my instructor called me to straighten out something i botched up. i found our meeting to be a productive yet unusual event. she told me not to listen to what other people say, and questioned me......are they going to interferr with your curiculium?....point blank i said no....bottom line is i am very greatful she is helping me succeed with the career i have chosen, i believe in the concept of O.T. so much, i want to work with people in their times of need. I AM EXTREMELY THANKFUL SHE IS HELPING ME, I WILL DEFINATELY NEVER NEVER EVER LET ANOTHER PERSON BRING ME DOWN TO A P0INT OF DYSFUNCTION AGAIN. PERIOD.
Thursday, May 17, 2001
i am slowly dying inside. emotionally terrorized by an instructor. kinda difficult to even think about let along pour onto a keyboard about it. something has to happen though. this, all too much, comsumes my thoughts. really having a tough time just blowing it away with a breath of kindness. in all the time i have attended college...never never ever experienced what SHE is putting me through. honestly, she is even worse than the man that married me. there are and have been many many many platonic relationships in my lifetime, a handful of intimate ones, and even a less amount of horrific ones. in fact, as i recall, during my school years, only one was horrific and she was my best friend, we would fight over god knows what and then it just blew away like it never happend or was a stupid thing to have happened. as a young women, wife, and mom there was only two horrific persons i knew......one would do things like ask for a washcloth to clean her...well, vagina, just try to live in my house as though she was my responsibility or like i owed her. sick one as far as i am concerned. hell, and the other, well....i caught her in bed with my first husband....thought she was a nice person until then, although she never really treated me like shit face to face, just inadvertently happen to have little respect. And to date, one really low person, a very rude girl that places herself up on a pedalstal while the other is just an arrogant bitch. Let's see...that totals four [can't really include the one from high school] my point is that i believe, and so do many others, that my character is one that aims to be polite, respectful, and anxious to interact effectively with others. i understand that today i am not everything i want to be, i am not everything that i probably could be, and am certainly not the person i use to be. the issue that makes this instructor so horrific is that last semester our rapport was fine, hell, i even got a good grade in her course. this semester she presented like dr. jekel; truly was beyond my comprehension as to what the hell was happening and why the hell as well. the terrorizing aspect is one minute she is fine and the other pure hell. i just can't understand it. driving me nuts. i don't want to be there. don't know if i can tolerate the envirnment with her much more. i even feel as though she would love me to drop out of the program. how confusing this is to me. how i try to figure it out. how can one person alternately terrorize and accept the other like she does?
Wednesday, May 9, 2001
geeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz addie.....why can't anyone leave colleen a comment at leenyland!!!!!!!!!!!!!
duh..........my heart goes out to you weenie ^;^
Monday, May 7, 2001
Lord has mercy on me. And while you're at it, a Mercedes or a Mercury Mountaineer would be pretty nice. Well, ya never know now do ya. My philosophy is, think positive and whala…and thee ole self-fulfilling prophecy thing…could work!!! Good gracious, getting back on the initial track, Lord have mercy on me this week during finals. Need I say anymore!!!!!!!!
What can I tell ya Addiemae...just couldn't help myself with the control C, control V move. Sorry
This one goes out to the one that married me...just grow up damm you...check into reality more that 10 seconds a year...I mean it must really suck to be you. Hey. At least I survive without the really offensive wording for now. And if I really bother you, fuck you. [what the hell was that all about i wonder] confused yet?
