Friday, September 14
Today I watched the President of my country nearly cry and I wept for him. I hate watching the news, but I can't pull myself away from it. I keep watching, and hoping, for some miracle.. for survivors. When they found the five firefighters alive in an SUV, I broke down in tears because it was exactly the thing everyone needed to see.
Update: Of course the firefighter rescue thing turned out to be a hoax. It's funny (not really), but I was watching CNN and they rudely interrupted a man speaking with "breaking footage of the rescue". Oh, that CNN. So reliable.
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Wednesday, September 12
I said I was finished discussing it. I said I was done. I lied. Talking about anything but this tragedy seems superficial and of no importance. It's like walking up to an injured person and saying, "Great shoes, where on earth did you get them?"
Nearly 19 hours after the attack, and the impact is just now processing through my brain. New York is far from Indiana, but there's a bit of chaos here as well. Gas prices, which were around $1.60/gallon, are now shooting up to over $3.00/gallon, and in some places over $4.00/gallon. My drive to work, which is usually less than 5 minutes, took almost three times as long. Cars were everywhere.. backed into the traffic. Gas pumps are empty. I thought everyone knew something I didn't and were readying up for a long haul to evacuation. I wish I had my camera with me ... the sheer number of cars lined up and down the streets, each waiting it's turn for the gas pump, was bizarre.
Personally, I'm not going to fill my tank up with gas while it's still cheap and affordable. Three reasons: 1) I'm not buying the hype - the prices will come down. 2) If they do rise and stay that way, I'll either bike it, or walk to work. I refuse to pay that much for gasoline, no matter the inconvenience it brings. Besides, not only will it be cheaper, but it will be healthy, too. 3) It's shameful that these companies want to take advantage of everyone in a time like this. Really fucking shameful. That's like walking up to the injured person with great shoes and saying, "I know your head is bleeding and I have a band-aid... it will be yours for only $10!" Shameful, I tell you.
When I finally did make it to work, the attacks were all everyone could talk about. Special Edition papers were delivered, which I've been told that the newspapers here haven't done since WWII. Extra, extra, read all about it. The shift before me took radios from the shelves to the break room, office, pharmacy and front store in expectance of breaking news. Everywhere I looked someone was either reading about the World Trade Center and Pentagon, talking about it, or listening to it on the radio. Complete strangers were discussing it and I thought how sad it was that it takes something of this magnitude to bring everyone together, because there really was a sense of camaraderie today. When dropping off Jordan after school, the bus driver simply said, "Somebody must pay for this," and shut his doors.
I couldn't agree with him more. I want retaliation. I want justice to be served. However, I want it served to the rightful people, the ones who deserve it. If this country picks a terrorist group simply because we want our revenge in a timely fashion, we're no better than those cowards. The price is heavy, and I want only the ones who did this to pay, as I'm sure everyone else does as well.
When I came home I noticed that everyone was just how I left them - gathered in the living room watching the news. Other than to do the normal functions (eat, potty, and sleep), I doubt anyone moved or even changed the channel. It doesn't matter how many times the footage is shown, it still seems like a dream or something out of Hollywood's imagination. The plane hitting the buildings and then the collapse. I've seen it a million times over in the last 24 hours, and each time is exactly like the first.
All that's left is rubble, bodies, and a world in shock.
Be sure and donate to the Amazon.com Disaster Relief Fund, and PayPal's Disaster Relief Fund (both through Red Cross).
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Tuesday, September 11
Two planes were flown into the World Trade Center, and a third into the Pentagon in an act of terrorism. The White House (most likely 4th strike) has been evacuated and all flights nationwide have been cancelled. Whoever did this has succeeded in pissing off virtually every person in this country. If you thought Oklahoma City bombing was bad, this is much worse. This is more along the lines of Pearl Harbor. In the footage you can see the planes crashing into the buildings and the sides of the World Trade Center collapsing to the ground. I pity the group or nation that did this. This is freakin' war.
I dont want to talk about this anymore, not because I have nothing to say, but because I have everything to say. I feel like we've all been slapped in the face. I feel very mournful for those many people that have died and for those who have lost. This beautiful morning turned out to be a nightmare.
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Monday, September 10
The amount of cleaning I do to this bedroom is really sick. Today I will polish the wood furniture and paneling, dust, windex and disinfect, wash the bedding and clean out the closets. The windows have been opened to bring in some fresh air. The papertowels and trashbags are ready to be used. I might even wash the freaking walls. Oh yes, I am a merry little maid.
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Peyton is home and doing well despite a nasty case of newborn jaundice. The little booger has an artificial light that shines on him 24/7, and it makes him glow like a little glow worm. It is supposed to help him in some way, but how? I don't know.
I think Jordan might have a bit of jealousy stirring. As his Aunt and helper of his mother, I basically watch him all day and put him to sleep at night. My God, he was a holy terror. He was getting into this, and getting into that.. he even dumped a full bottle of baby powder on his head. And, last night, he cried like a baby and waaaah'd when it was time to go to sleep. Peyton can do that and get away with it, because he's just a baby and can't speak. Jordan sees that as a way to get attention, which is something he isn't used to sharing.
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My top five weblogger
twins:
- Tom of Plasticbag.org
- Caroline of Prolific.org
- Derek of Powazek.com
- Heather of Harrumph!
- Jish of Weblog Shmeblog
Appropriately, link via Plasticbag.
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Saturday, September 8
Ten hours after the doctor broke my sister's water, Peyton Thomas was born. I was there for the duration and it was the most surreal experience of my life. I cut the umbilical cord, and when blood squirted onto the sheets and her stomach I thought I snipped the wrong thing. There was only one time I wanted to leave to keep from puking, and that was when the doctor pulled on the umbilical cord and the after birth fell out. She plopped it in a pan and I thought I was going to hit the floor.
That baby has the longest fingers, and his face feels like silk. His little chin quivers when he looks at you. He is absolutely beautiful.
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Thursday, September 6
The doctor will be breaking my sister's water at 5:00pm today. Less than three hours to go and I can hardly wait. I dont believe in God, but if there is a higher power out there, please let this baby be healthy and come out with all 10 fingers and 10 toes. Please.
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I should have gone to bed hours ago. The words, "I should have," seem to be a part of my every day vocabulary; I should have gone to bed, I should have gone home, I should have finished this or done that. Too many "should haves" and not enough done. But I'm running on empty here. The past two or three days have left me drained and without anything worthwhile to say. I need to escape.
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Tuesday, September 4
Today out of nowhere...
Jordan: Barbara? pronounced "Bawbwa"
Me: Yes?
Jordan: You're next! Mwahahahahaha!
Not only that, but he calls me "Penny" now. I'm not sure where that came from, but one day he ran after me and yelled, "Penny, come back here!" I go along with it - I'm flexible.
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