This morning while I was briskly walking across campus with a friend of mine, I stepped into a huge puddle of mud that must have jumped out in front of me, seriously. I was wearing flip-flops, so as I was still in the forward motion before I could bring myself to a stop, my flip-flops had thrown mud all up and down my backside. "Alright," I thought, "it can not be that bad," which it honestly wasn't, but still it kind of ruins one self-esteem for a while. I took my flip-flops off and walked bare-foot to my next class. Had I been with any one else that's close to me, I would have asked them to "dust me off," but Keriann and I are not really that close, so I just endured the pain of wearing dirty clothes until my Music Appreciation class was through and could go back to my dorm room to clean up. (sighs) After typing that, I spilt soda on my pants. What a day, huh?

I received another note today from the mysterious J.C.. Who is that, you ask? Good, damn question. I have gotten two notes now from him inquiring me to meet him at certain times in our dorm's lobby, which I never can, because I, or rather my roommate, find the notes tucked behind my nametag on our door too late. I have attempted several times to go down to the lobby when I do get the note to see if he might still be there, but he is never to be seen. Hrmp! I wish he would just make it easy and leave a number, or some other way for me to contact him. I am really intrigued. At first, I just thought it might be some silly prank, but the second note confirms just how real it really is. Somehow, he found out after he wrote the first note that I was not gay and, therefore, wrote the second time more as an apology, than anything of real substance. He just had heard priorly that I was gay and "out," so he was apologizing for assuming that as fact. Silly people and their gossip, ay? I find that funny that I hardly know anyone in my dorm and yet a lot of people already know me by name. Am I just electric like that? Probably not, but I still want to think so. It's more how controversial I am, I guess. Any ways, I just hope he does not completely give up since I missed him again, because I really want to know who exactly he is and, most importantly, be here for him to talk to. I know how tight the rope can feel sometimes.

(takes a deep breath) How much sorrow one feels late at night reflecting on the events this week. I am still flabbergasted that such a horrific event could and did occur in the United States, of all places. My heart, soul, and most empathic prayers go out to everyone affected by the tragedy that took places just days ago. We had a candle vigil tonight at the football stadium. (sighs) What really is the world coming to? Everything that could be said at this moment has been said, so I am not going to sound redundant, but I just wanted to vent my frustrations somewhere. Thanks for reading!

This weekend has been a lot like the weekends I used to spend with Chad, Xander, Sasha, Candance, Justin, Michael, or Glenn. Just like the good ole days, just different in the people I spent it with and the places I was at. It was great, though. Friday night, Friday night, Friday night. How amazing was Friday night? I finally met Ryan, my long-distance friend from Hawaii that I have known for two years it seems. Let me preface the meeting with some background on how we've known each other and what brought us together Friday night. Ryan and I met either through my website or in a chatroom. I am sure Ryan will e-mail me or tell me differently, but I know something like that brought us in contact with each other. Any ways, we began just talking about life, love, and all the many subjects that can be discussed by teenagers at that time and we grew really close. It was strange, we grew close as friends, with nothing else expected. A lot of online things are based on the expectation of growing into a relationship, or something, but neither of us are into that, so it worked out beautifully.

Two years of this, off and on talking via ICQ mostly, you really get to know someone and their many facets of being. I was there when he came out to his parents, went through boyfriends, and he was there for me likewise, or at least through the bleakness of single-hood. I was never one more dating, so I guess I was more of the listener through that stage. Any ways, as it was nearing closer to that point in both of our lives that we had to decide on a college to attend, I kind of pushed the idea of Hendrix College on him, since that was where I was admittedly going to go, no questions asked. It worked out wonderfully, too, though, because then we could room together and not have to fret about all the entering freshers worries over their unknown roommate. Sure, Ryan really wanted to go to Vanderbilt, but the more I pushed and the more he looked into this small, liberal arts school in Arkansas, nonetheless, he was drawn in. Therefore, nearing May we both had been accepted and were firm on going to Hendrix as roomies. Too bad, at the last minute, I went with my pocketbook and decided to attend UCA which pays me well now, instead of Hendrix which would have costed me a pretty penny. Ryan was good about it, though, and doesn't hate me for the choice, as I guess he understands. Any ways, so that brings us to Friday, the night before he was moving into his dorm at Hendrix.

Boy, walking across campus today was like loosing five pounds of water and looking like I had just stepped out of the shower fully dressed. Chalk up another day of college, I guess. I have been telling a few people that I think the reason college seems so blah, is because I never have anything to look forward to like I did in high school, ya know? What's tomorrow? More classes. Next week? Same. A year from now? Again, the same, just different places to walk to and different people to sit beside, but the general idea is still the same. I guess, I have been in this same routine for the past thirteen years of my life and there comes a point when you wish you had something more in your life to take your mind away from everything--if just for a second. I think I know what that something is that would take my mind away from the bleakness of college-life, but as each day passes, I kind of lose a little more hope. On a high note, though, to end this with, I got my TI-92 Plus calculator I had a friend's dad buy for me today. Now one of my goals is to learn how to use the darn thing, or at least look like I have at least taken it out of the box!

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Alright, so I have my own actual "snail" mail address and have yet to get any real mail, other than one card from my mother and my checks from the bank. Therefore, I need some loving, guys. A simple "Hi" would make my day, or a photo with my name written across someone's chest. :p Just the simple things that bring me joy, huh? If you feel so inclined and want to make a poor-struggling-college students day, then feel free to mail me. My address is on my biography page (here). Thanks in advance (crosses fingers for mail). :)

I met someone last night. A friend of a friend's had gaven me his number and, when I got back from being home this weekend, I gave him a buzz. After talking for about an hour on the phone, we decided to meet in front of Main on campus. As I walked across campus in suspense, I kept looking at people wondering if they were him, figuring maybe he was walking to me. Eventually, I made it to Main and saw him sitting on the large steps that lead up to the entrance. He was talking on his cell phone for a while when I got there, but after that we sat talking for about thirty minutes before deciding to go for coffee (smoothie) at what I found out is a quaint little 24-7 coffee-house. Again, when we got to the coffee-house we talked, met one of his friends, and went back to talking. We finally got back to campus around one and said our goodbyes at his dorm. I think overall it went well, especially well considering my last "date." He's definitely worth a second date, but I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, because I never have too much luck in the dating area. Here's hoping, though!