Monday, September 17, 2001

Another Day, Another Dollar

I was here. I worked. I got stuff done. We even had some laughs and some non-WTC conversations. I think people need to separate themselves from the tragedy in order to go on. This morning we spent about ten minutes of a half-hour team meeting just talking about how things went last week, in other words, how are we dealing with this shock? It was good.

Now I'm back to having to make some decisions in my own life. Like what do I really want to be doing, since this type of work doesn't thrill me any more? Or is it that it's not the work but the people I work with? Is the whole Internet economy suffering a financial as well as psychological depression? I think I'm just getting ready for that career change. Ten years in one industry is enough for fickle little me. Two more years of this, and if I'm not doing spectacular work, I'll have a plan begun to move on.

To what? Well, like Neil, I'll keep it a secret for a while.

posted at 5:32 PM | link | archive | email

Sunday, September 16, 2001

Another Story

This one was received on Wednesday, from another former Event Zero co-worker.

Subject: I'm ok

Hi there,

I just wanted to write and check-in that I'm ok. For the last 5 months I've been working for NexxtHealth, a subsidiary of Empire BCBS, on the 19th floor of 1 WTC. *Fortunately* I was late for work yesterday and on a bus heading downtown when the first plane hit. I got off the bus and then saw the rest from a location in Chinatown, a safe distance away. i am still in shock and utter disbelief over this!

From what I've heard, most NexxtHealth staff have checked in and were able to evacuate in time, but I'm not sure about my friends/coworkers who are Empire employees.

I hope you all were far away from downtown yesterday and are doing as well as can be. If someone could pass this on to the list of EZ bostoners, I would appreciate it.

Kristin

posted at 12:41 PM | link | archive | email

Long week

It is true what they've been saying. Even the president wants us to try to get back to "normal." On the other hand, we are just beginning the mourning. Last week was all about shock. Taking it in, digesting the facts and the sensationalism, and trying to accept what had really happened. Now, we're supposed to go back to work, get things done, and act like this never happened?

Just five days ago, some fanatics boarded four airplanes, domestic flights. Shortly after the planes took off, they took over. They threatened the passengers and crew with knives, and got into the cockpits. Then they used these heavily fueled airplanes as missiles. I don't think they themselves knew that they would cause this much devastation. Two of the airplanes smashed into the tallest buildings in New York, and one made it to the Pentagon. People. Families. Friends. Civilians. They died. Not more than one degree of separation from someone for most of us. I choke up when I scan the list of names and see a 2-year-old on one of the Boston flights.

What can our response be? For me, I log in every morning and check to make sure no additional tragedies have struck. Then I scan the sites of friends and check email to make sure we're all still ok. It's fear. It's slowly (in my case) becoming anger. And I'm supposed to turn in a "Requirements Document" so that some local corporation can track its leased equipment inventory. It's weird. Like that should be at all important to me right now. On the other hand - I wouldn't be able to help the victims much anyway. If you're like me, you want to jump in and DO SOMETHING. I mean, I understand the response of the 74-year-old veterans calling in and asking if they can serve again. Do you need people to carry rubble? Hand out food and clothing? Hold your hand?

Stuck and numb.

posted at 10:25 AM | link | archive | email

Friday, September 14, 2001

tonight

At 10:00pm EST, light a candle, step outside your door, and pray for peace.

posted at 1:10 PM | link | archive | email

Day of Prayer

I'm an individualist when it comes to religion - leave it at that. However, I'm addicted to NPR. I'm working from home today, and I have the radio on. They are broadcasting from the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. Every time someone starts singing a hymn and the organ grinds, Clyde sings along. Its cute and sad at the same time.

Another story from a former Event Zero employee:

I am here. Believe it or not, I was in the World Trade Center area this morning [Tuesday, September 11, 2001]. Yep, how's that for timing? I didn't see the plane crashes, but I saw the buildings on fire, and was on the street when the first building collapsed. Was very lucky actually. I had just stepped into a store to find a phone (all cell phone service was knocked out), when I heard rumbling and saw lots of people running. I ended up trapped in the store. People kept coming in covered with dust, and we tried to clean them up and calm them down. After about 20 minutes, the dust started to settle and we left the store. It really was just like the TV -- tons of dust, people sort of walking in a daze, and various levels of hysteria.

Anyway, I'm home now and all is fine. Lots of sirens still in the background. I used to see the WTC from my living room window. Right now all I see is smoke. Sort of odd actually. So many movies get filmed here that it doesn't seem quite real.

Thank you so much for asking. And if any of you had thought about visiting New York, er, well, I guess we'll have to find another observation deck.

keren

posted at 11:56 AM | link | archive | email

Collecting Stories

I'm starting to hear from friends of friends and former co-workers from New York and D.C. and I'm storing up their stories. I don't know why, but I think some day these reactions from the past few days will be important to share. With my children and my grandchildren. To explain to them why we did what we did in response.

I keep thinking back to my high school days and the "Advanced Placement History" class. Where I learned to be skeptical about anything I had learned before. Where I debated with classmates about whether we had been pre-warned about Pearl Harbor. Whether we placed the Louisatania in danger in order to rally our citizens to war. Some of the reasons for this attack on the World Trade Center and on Washington D.C. may have been for just as devious reasons. To be honest, we don't really know. Maybe it was backed by Russia to draw us against their long-time enemy, Afghanistan. Maybe it was done in conjunction with our own internal terrorist groups to stir up the government. I'm so scattered in where to lay blame, and in doubting everything our leaders are spouting, that I can't focus my anger. Just remember that the more you learn and understand about why the United States was attacked, and by whome, the harder it will be to find that pure anger that envelops us now.

Here is one story from Teri's brother in D.C.:

It is all so amazing. We were setting up for a training presentation on Tuesday morning when we heard about the attack on the Pentagon. There is a clear view of the Pentagon from the meeting room, and we could see huge plumes of spoke pouring out of the Pentagon. Shortly thereafter, we received the notice to evacuate the building. There was a report that a bomb had been detonated on the first floor of our building, but that turned out to be false. After determining that nothing had happened, I left.

Outside there was a sea of people, with various emotions on their faces ranging from fear to confusion to anger. Many didn't seem to know where to go or what to do; some were weeping, and others were just milling about. There were mixed reports on whether the Metro was open. Regardless of whether it was open, many people were scared to go down into the system due to the fear of other bombings or attacks. As a result, traffic was in complete gridlock, and many people simply started to walk home.

I didn't want to leave Linda downtown by herself, and I also did not want to get caught up in the gridlock. Consequently, I decided to get out of my Federal office building, get away from the White House, and go to Linda's office which is a few blocks north. That ended up working out well. When we took the train home a few hours later, much of the gridlock had clear out, and it was beginning to look like a ghost town in downtown DC, except for the very high police presence. My building and the main VA building had by that time been cordoned off and could not be approached.

On the way home, the smell of smoke could definitely was present in the system. Linda states that she also could smell smoke yesterday at the stops near to the Pentagon.

Yesterday morning I had a medical appointment up in Kensington, Maryland. To get there you need to drive past the Pentagon on the George Washington Parkway. It was amazing to see the large amount of smoke still pouring out of the building at that time.

Overall, it is a very strange feeling to realize that a major terrorist attack occurred just a few miles from where Linda and I both live and work. I think many people are also feeling the same way, because everyone for the most part is fairly quiet and subdued, and have a slightly glazed look on their faces. It also is disconcerting to hear reports that the White House possibly had been an intended target, especially given that I work only one and one-half blocks from that location.

posted at 8:36 AM | link | archive | email

Wednesday, September 12, 2001

posted at 9:27 AM | link | archive | email

It's no better today.

After I sit here and tear up at every name, every personal account, every email from a friend assuring me they made it, I can't work. I wish I could do SOMETHING. That's more frustrating than not knowing who did this right now. But as I said to Heidi this morning - even if I were in New York, I don't think I'd be much help right now. I think even the firefighters, doctors, etc. in New York feel devasted and hopeless at what they are seeing. Every time I hear the words, "body parts" I get sick to my stomach. The pictures from TV are running through my head. It was so overwhelming - the waiting the not knowing - that I could do little but stare and listen yesterday.

Now today we must begin to pick up the pieces. We have to go on, according to those in government, to show the terrorists that they didn't win. Yet, let's face it, they did. They won this battle. We are devasted. We are heart broken. We are lost. I want to thank God for the safe keeping of my close friends and family from Boston, New York, and Washington D.C. And I can only share the sadness felt for those who weren't so lucky.

Why do I have to go on with "business as usual"? John Van Pelt said yesterday, this changes everything - our lives will be different going forward. Every time I step on to an airplane I will glance around for danger. Every time I go up in a tall building I will plan a safe exit. Safe. ha. Some people will not feel safe again for a long time.

posted at 9:25 AM | link | archive | email